Let’s Do Mitzvahs!

Today is my daughter’s 13th birthday. It’s hard to imagine that thirteen years have passed since we became parents for the first time. Our daughter has matured into a beautiful young women and I am often flabbergasted that some of the characteristics that were so challenging in a six-year-old, like stubbornness, strong will and independence have turned into assets as an emerging teenager.

2011 proves to be quite a momentous year for both my daughter and myself. In July, she will celebrate her Bat Mitzvah and in November my book will arrive in bookstores. According to Jewish Law, Jewish boys become Bar Mitzvah on their thirteenth birthdays and Jewish girls become Bat Mitzvah sometime after their twelfth birthdays. At this time, they are eligible to become full members of the Jewish community, assuming adult responsibilities for their choices and behaviors according to Jewish law.

The reality that we are even planning this event sometimes feels momentous in itself, since a few years ago it wasn’t clear that our daughter was willing to take on the preparations necessary to become a Bat Mitzvah.  She doesn’t love attending synagogue and finds services “long and boring”. So encouraging her to spend several hours a week for the past two years preparing for this opportunity initially felt like an impossible task. Thank goodness  both Rabbis at our synagogue were willing to think outside the box with our daughter and find a meaningful way to celebrate this sacred tradition. We were lucky enough to have found two amazing tutors as well who have embraced our daughter and have helped her learn the skills and blessings she will need to lead a bat mitzvah service and be called up to the Torah that morning. In the end, we have chosen to host this event, not at a synagogue but at Willowbrook, an outdoor summer arts camp that my daughter has attended since she was three. It is a spiritual and special place for our entire family. While it will be a bit unconventional, I think it reflects our need to find a meaningful opportunity to celebrate this milestone in a unique way, especially for a child who has clearly been an out of the box Jewish thinker. As a parent, the most delightful part of this whole experience has been watching her begin to undertake this endeavor with the kind of commitment she gives to other activities she’s more passionate about, like theatre and singing.

In addition, to a summer bat mitzvah, my 1000 Mitzvah Book: How Small Acts of Kindness Can Heal, Inspire and Change your Life will be out in November and I too have been on a journey of personal growth through this experience. I have enjoyed discovering the process of writing, editing and publishing. I have heard the words of my own mentor and professor Bernie Reisman from my graduate school at Brandeis University many times during this year and his famous words to, “Trust the Process.” He was so right and it feels like letting go of the outcome and trusting that process has been gratifying for both of us.

So it feels timely to launch a new part of the 1000 Mitzvahs project today on this Monday, January 31st.

In our country a lot of people experience Monday morning blues. They drag themselves to jobs they hate and spend their days getting through the week. Maybe you are even feeling that way today. On some Monday mornings during my mitzvah project, I sat down to write a thank-you card, or made a phone call first thing, seeing it as an answer to the Monday morning blues. It worked perfectly. Starting your week with some gratitude and appreciation trickles into the rest of your day and week and it is a great practice to get into.

This weekend, I launched my 1,000 Mitzvahs Facebook Fan Page (thanks to those that have already liked it). Today will begin my mitzvah mornings campaign. Today’s launch invites you to participate.Will you join me in committing to doing ONE mitzvah or act of kindness a week? It doesn’t have to be anything major or life changing, just do one small act of kindness this week.

Here are a few ideas if you can’t think of anything.

Hold the Door

Write a note to someone who mentored you

Compliment someone

Buy the person behind you a cup of coffee

Pay someone’s toll

Each week I will post new suggestions for mitzvah moments. If you have your own stories or have quick ideas for a mitzvah to suggest or one you have done, email me at lindamcohen@comcast.net. Please share these ideas with you family and friends and encourage them to join you in your weekly mitzvah or act of kindness. It doesn’t need to be anything heroic, just do one small act of kindness each week. I am hoping that 2011 will be a year when you also feel inspired and notice that each of us makes a difference and though your small act of kindness may seem simple, it is like throwing a pebble into a still lake, the ripple continues after that initial contact.

Looking forward to hearing from you and what mitzvahs come your way this week!


Birthday Mitzvah received

My 40th birthday was last week on Yom Kippur. It was actually probably the best Yom Kippur I have ever had. The fast was easy and I felt great the whole day. I guess attitude is everything. Plus I had the opportunity to read several passages from the prayer book that reiterated the idea of doing acts of kindness. I don’t remember any of them verbatim but that idea was that every little thing effects the world and it’s all good. (My translation is obviously not as eloquent as the prayer book authors but you get the idea.) I sometimes think this 1000 mitzvah blog is crazy and wonder what am I doing tracking all these little things, but I also love noticing an opportunity to do a kindness and actually doing it. I know I am better because of all these little mitzvahs.

764) Drove a friend to and from synagogue for services.

765) Donated money at the supermarket for a local food bank.

766) Picked up trash on the floor at the synagogue/conference center after services. My friend noticed and commented. I know when I see someone doing a good deed I often notice and feel happy about it.

767) Called after a gentleman at synagogue who had dropped his kippah or yarmalke – a head covering worn by men at synagogue – he was so grateful and thanked me, it looked handmade.

768) Donated food to a local food bank as part of the food drive on Yom Kippur.

769) Volunteered at picture day at my kids school.

On my birthday, I got multiple phone calls and emails from family and friends wishing me a happy birthday, which I was very happy to recieve. I think when we remember things that are happening in other people’s lives it makes people realize they are important to us. My favorite call that day was from an aquaintance I know through my networking group, she was working on the groups newsletter and writing up everyone’s birthday for the month. She realized that it was actually the day of my birthday and called to wish me a happy birthday. That’s the sort of crazy thing I would do too and I was very touched and told her so!

A Happy New Year

It’s October. I love October because the leaves are changing (atleast when I grew up on the East coast they did) and it’s my birthday month. This year I will be turning 40. I am excited and thrilled to have reached this milestone. Ironically, my birthday falls on an auspicious day in the Jewish calendar this year. It’s on a holiday called Yom Kippur. This holiday concludes the Days of Atonement. It is a day of fasting, prayer and introspection. When I realized a couple of years ago that my birthday would fall Yom Kippur when I turned 40, I was pretty upset, but as I am nearing this birthday now I am actually okay with this. I think it is a wonderful coincidence. Around 40, you become more introspective anyway so it makes sense that this year I will be “celebrating” that occasion with a day completely focused on that.

752 & 753) Sent out a condolence card and made a donation for someone who recently lost a child family member.

754) Sent out a condolence card to a friend whose brother died.

755) Recently a receptionist did a special favor for me and the next day I brought her a little thank you note and token of my appreciation. She seemed very surprised and touched.

756) My daughter and I had a funny discussion last week about whether this was a mitzvah. She thought it was! I picked up my kids and brought them home as usually, we settled in to do our homework only to realize my daughter had forgotten her book and homework at school. I offered to take her back to school to retrieve what she needed for her assignments. She of course was very grateful.

757) Bought a cake from a young woman who was selling them as a fundraiser.

758) Called the Rebbetzin to check in.

759) Used a recyclable bag at the grocery store.

760) Sent a get well card to a friend out of town who had surgery.

761) Sent a get well card to someone who’d had surgery and was recovering.

762 &763) Recommended to two people a professional association meeting that I thought might be beneficial.

Received two mitzvahs this week. We were out to see a play on Saturday night and afterwards stopped at a restaurant to see if we could get a special dessert. The restaurant had already closed for the night but not only did the owner give me some of the special dessert, he didn’t charge me!! We were with some friends so all of us witnessed this mitzvah.

Received a call from a non Jewish friend to wish me a Happy New Year. That was a wonderful mitzvah.

A one year anniversary and a seventh birthday

Yesterday, was December 1st the one year anniversary from my father’s death and my son Solomon’s seventh birthday. I feel a bit odd in stating that it wasn’t a particularly sad day for me. When my father first died and I told a friend that it had happened on my son’s birthday she told me that was good because my dad wouldn’t want me to be sad thinking about him on that day. For any of you who have children, you know that it is very hard to even be sad when your kids are around because their exuberance for life keeps you smiling. My son was so excited all day for his birthday at Laserport and that really set the tone for the day. The party was wonderful and all the more special for me because of last year.

Anyway, I feel that the whole year has been such an introspection, growth and learning  that I feel really positive about all that my father’s death has taught me. Also, last week was the official (Hebrew day when I observed the yartzeit) so it really wasn’t a particularly sad day yesterday.

This was a week with some great mitzvahs.

513) Received a call that someone I knew needed some help at a difficult time. I took some things requested and a few more and delivered what was needed.

514) Made a donation to a wonderful grass roots organization in our community called the Sunshine Pantry that helps people in times of need, no referral or questions asked.

515) In lieu of a gift we were asked to make a donation for a friend celebrating his 60th birthday. We donated to a charity of mutual affection.

516&517) Donated to two local law enforcement fund raisers.

518) Donated to our local Jewish community Federation.