Author Archives: 1000 mitzvahs

A mitzvah from a mensch: Acknowledging another

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This week, my kids had an overlapping choir dress rehearsal and baseball game and my husband was down with the flu. When an email arrived from another choir mom who was looking to carpool to the choir rehearsal I was thrilled to make the arrangements. Our girls would each have to wait a half an hour since their rehearsal times didn’t completely align but we both decided that was fine. With the arrangements finalized we met up so my daughter could ride to the rehearsal. Rather than drop my son off at home, I invited him to “drive along” for the quick pick up of the two girls to save some time after his game. We arrived at our appointed pick up time and proceeded to wait almost an hour since the rehearsal ran very long. I treated my kids to ice cream in appreciation for their patience when we were finally finished.

The next day, with the delayed rehearsal already a memory, I received a phone call from the other mom apologizing profusely that I’d had to wait so long to take her daughter home. She was sorry for any inconvenience I had experienced and really wanted to express her apologizes. She had no idea or control over what time the rehearsal ended or that it would go so long that evening. But she did know that I’d had to wait on her daughter’s behalf and she acknowledged that inconvenience. What a mensch (it means a good person). Others might not have placed that phone call at all. Even though she couldn’t control the situation she wanted to acknowledge her appreciation for my patience. That acknowledgement was meaningful and I was touched by the phone call.

Answering the phone can be a mitzvah

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This morning, as I was rushing out the door to get my daughter to school on time, a phone call came in from a number I didn’t recognize. I picked up the phone. The women on the other end asked for someone specifically by name. I told her she must have the wrong number and asked her what number she was calling. She repeated my number and when I told her that was my phone number but there was no one here by that name she sounded somewhat frantic. I offered to look up the gentleman’s name in our local white pages. I took a couple of minutes and looked the gentleman up despite my daughter texting me that we needed to go. Unfortunately, I wasn’t successful finding the person she was looking for, but it felt good having at least tried to help a stranger get the information she needed.

A phone can offer myriads of ways to do mitzvahs. You can call to check in with someone who is ill, grieving, celebrating a birthday or in dozens of other situations. You can also use a phone to call and pass on information, let a manager know that an employee has done a great job. Finally, picking up a phone call when you know someone is calling to solicit you can also be a mitzvah assuming you are polite and kind. Imagine the person on the other end having a friendly person to speak with regardless of whether you decide to give or not to their solicitation. Being treated politely with kindness can mean a great deal to someone whose job is to talk with people all day long.

What other ways can you use your phone to perform a mitzvah?

What do you want your legacy to be?

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Last night, I attended a networking group for the National Speakers Association.  I have been part of this organization for a few years since I participated in a Fast Track candidacy program a few years ago. In the candidacy program, we had the opportunity to meet wonderful local and national speakers as we learned the business of professional speaking.

One of the attendees last night had been our speaker a few years ago when I was just beginning to write my book. When we met last night,  I re-introduced myself he said, “Yeah, I know you are  the mitzvah gal.” I smiled because I am always humbled and honored that somehow I have managed to become synonymous with mitzvahs. It was my goal when I started this process to share my story about the mitzvah project to make the word “mitzvah” a household word/concept and to share it outside of the Jewish community.

As a Jewish child, I was taught about this idea of doing a mitzvah and when I had my bat mitzvah at 13 years old, I officially took on the mitzvahs as all Jewish children are expected to do,  but the idea of mitzvahs is universal.  It has such a powerful and wonderful connotation that it makes me smile every time someone reminds me that they now know what a mitzvah is and I have helped introduce them to the word.

So, what will your legacy be? Perhaps it’s one you’ve given thought to and perhaps not. I never expected this to be mine but I’m certainly happy to continue being the mitzvah gal forever.

 

Curbing your “stubborn independence”

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At the Detroit Tigers game


Wow, what a whirlwind week it’s been. My family and I have just returned from a week in Detroit, Michigan where we celebrated the bar mitzvah of one of our cousins. In addition to all the party festivities, we took in a Detroit Tigers baseball game, and I was interviewed on Detroit Fox 2 News and had a book talk/signing co-sponsored by a local independent bookstore called Book Beat while we were there.

One of reasons I love speaking around the country is the opportunity to engage others in a dialogue about mitzvahs and the proactive way each of us can choose to do this.

Visiting with friends and family after the book signing

One of my favorite moments at Monday night’s book event was when the discussion turned to allowing someone to assist you. One of our cousins,  who’d attended that evening and has MS, mentioned that she is “stubbornly independent” but has realized that when she allows another to help her, she offers a chance for someone else to do a mitzvah on her behalf. I know I have spoken about this previously on the blog but she said it so eloquently and with such candor that it reminded me again that being on the receiving end of a mitzvah, while perhaps more difficult, does allow the flow of giving to continue.

Ironically, on the airplane ride home, we were deplaning in Portland and a mother with a baby on her hip, tried to jostle her suitcase out from the overhead bin. Two other passengers offered their assistance to help but she kept saying, “it’s really heavy but it’s okay I don’t need any help.” Her refusal for any assistance did make others nervous that she might pull the bag out and drop it on the babies head.

This mother’s “stubbornness” pushed the other passengers away when they were offering their assistance. Sometime we need to push away our pride and accept help and generosity from another, because when we do, we just might be making the giver’s day too!!

Be gracious and allow another to give to you, receiving that mitzvah with open arms.